The reason why!
by Hiyaitskerry
Summary: Christine was never a heavy drinker until that night.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Basically this is a story about how Christine's Alcohol addiction came around, following the rape assault from Joe's Father. Mentions Plenty Christine and Connor. Also will later include Imogen and Michael. **

**Prologue**

_She couldn't ever forget that night. In the farmhouse. The night everything changed. She had been so happy before that night, happy with Joe. She had a feeling he was the one. He was sweet, handsome and loyal. His family seemed fond of her. Especially his dad. He was a kind fella. Too kind, Christine took no notice of his. She was happy with Joe. Until it happened. In that farmhouse. With his father. She didn't want it, he knew she didn't. He forced her. Forced himself on her... Raped her. She had felt so dirty after that night even though it wasn't her fault. She had desperately tried to forget. Forget what he done, forget it happens. That was until that test came back positive. Pregnant. Pregnant with her husbands fathers child. _

**Thoughts? Should I continue this and give it a go. Is anyone interested in it? I have plenty more time to write now that I am finished college until August. **


	2. Chapter 2: Change of Heart

**Here we go part two of this one. Hope you enjoy. **

There she was nursing a glass of wine, the bottle on the table. Why was she drinking? She's pregnant. But this seems to numb the Hurt and the disgust she feels when she thinks about him. What he done to her. And the gift he's left her. 'I don't even want this baby' flickered through her mind many times.

3 weeks. A three week old foetus is what is left of that night. Well physically. The memories, the flashbacks will never leave her. Christine poured another glass full of wine and drank it, drinking away all the emotions running through her body. How could she raise this child, knowing what their father was. What he done to her. She couldn't put another human being through that.

She stood at the doors of the abortion clinic. She couldn't raise this child knowing it was was the product of rape and that the father was a beast of a man. This was the only option.

"Miss Mulgrew,"

Her heart started beating faster as her name was called ad the realisation if what she was about to do hit. Her mind kept telling her this was for the best, but then there was that tiny littler bit in her heart telling her she was making the wrong decisions. The doctor rubbed some jelly on Christine's stomach, taking a scan before Christine made her final decision. The scanner was rubbed on her belly and her eyes were drifting towards the screen.

"There we are, that's your baby,'

Christine was mesmerised by the tiny blob on the screen, her child. The nurse was right 'her baby', not his. Yes biological, but her child would never have to know the truth. She would make up some life, she would not let Joe's father destroy this baby's life like he had done to hers.

The nurse turned the screen away "Are you ready?"

Christine had a think, it wasn't this baby's fault. This her baby really, not his. He wouldn't get the chance to be part of this child's live anyway. Shouldn't let him.

"No wait, stop! I change my mind, I do want this baby,"


	3. Chapter 3: Thinking Positively

**Two chapters in one day. I am getting good at this :)**

Six more weeks along the line. At nine weeks pregnant, there she was alone and single carrying this child with barely a penny to name. You see Joe had recently dropped the bombshell that there was someone else, that he did now love her anymore. Packing his things and leaving, disappearing out of Christine's life. Maybe this was a good thing, she would not be reminded of his father ever time she looked at him. But she has this baby to think of, this little person growing inside of her. Completely dependent on her love and care. Could she manage it alone? She would just have to.

She hadn't even told her own mother yet. What was she meant to say. "mum, I was raped. You're going to be grandmother". She just couldn't, just saying the word made her feel physically sick. She could just let her mother believe Joe is the father, as much as she wished that was true. That's what she would have to do.

"Mum, I need to talk to you about something," Christine spoke as she popped a tetleys tea bag in to each of the mugs of boiling water and stirred in milk and sugar.

Her mother Diane nodded as she carried a packet of tea biscuits into the living room as Christine followed with the two mugs of freshly brewed tea. "is everything alright love? Have you heard from Joe?" Diane had always been rather fond of Joe, she stuck by Christine from the moment she introduced Joe, right up until they were married and afterwards.

"No, but there's nothing else,"

"Oh, and what is that? Is something bothering you.."

Christine looked down at her mug of tea before looking back at her mums gaze "Mum...I...I'm pregnant," she just blurted out, awaiting her mums reaction. She was expecting a kick off or some lecture that never came. Instead her mother just smiled and hugged her "That's great news, does Joe know though?"

Christine looked up and shook her "No and he's not going to,"

"Christine you have to tell him,"

"No mum, he walked out on me remember. He is with someone else now. Besides he's never wanted kids,". That last part Christine didn't know if it was true or not, but she wasn't going to have anyone other than herself and her family in this baby's life. Not Joe, not his father. Nobody else.

Christine lay back on the bed as she lifted her top up, the gel was spread over her small bump. Twenty weeks, she was having a scan and today if she really wanted to she could find out the sex of her baby. She shivered as the cold gel was rubbed around her belly and the scanner was moved. She then perched her eyes on the screen and smiled, her baby. She was overwhelmed.

"Everything is looking as it should be, your baby is perfectly healthy at this age. Would you like to know the sex?"

Christine had a think, maybe it would be nice to know of she was buying blue or pink things for her baby. But also it would be nice to have that surprise of finding out if her baby was a girl or boy as soon as born. She smiled and shook her head "I'd rather wait,"

The nurse nodded and smiled before going to print the scan pictures out.

Christine held the picture in her hand, smiling widely. Her baby, she was going to try and do the best to be the mummy this baby deserved. She knew it would be a hard and tough challenge to face but she would do it, for her child's sake.


	4. Chapter 4: a baby is born

**Sorry Guys i have not updated this in a terribly long time, aw i feel so bad. but i have literally been stuck with this chapter for a few days trying to tackle it right, but I hope you all enjoy it!**

33 weeks pregnant and she had already started buying some white and cream outfits and had decorated her spare room in to a nursery for her baby. She was growing excited now. This was all she needed, something positive to focus on. Joe and his father were distant in her line of thinking, all she wanted to focus on now was being the best mother he could.

"So you're definitely coming to mums for dinner tomorrow?" Debbie, Christine's sister asked her as they sat in her living room with a mug of tea. Christine nodded and smiled at her sister "I will be there,"

"Good," Debbie replied, "it's been a while since we've all eaten together," Christine nodded as she finished her tea. "I better get home, this little one is kicking," she rubbed her belly "And I've left some food out at home,". Debbie nodded and hugged her sister "I will see you tomorrow then,". The sisters hugged before Christine got in her car and got home, popping her pasta dish in the microwave and changing in to some Pyjamas. Her intentions were to sit down in front of the TV and catch up will all of her shows that she has missed in the las week.

9pm rolled around and Christine jumped in surprise at a strange sensation in her stomach, she frowned. This wasn't any ordinary kicking pain. She rubbed at her belly soothingly trying to get rid of the pain, but instead it grew increasingly stronger. Little did Christine know this was the start of her contractions. The next pain came much stronger causing her to drop her mug and sending what was left of its contents all over the floor. Her eyes widened. "No, No not yet. It's too early," she told herself. She grabbed her stomach and tried to think of what she should do. She grabbed her phone and dialled her mums number.

'Christine why are you calling this late?"

Christine felt as if she was taking all her strength and breath to speak back to her mother "Mum...the...baby...is coming," she spluttered out between breaths. "Christine love don't be daft, you're too early," Dianne said softly. An agonising moan then escaped from Christine's mouth "Mum...I'm telling you...this baby...is coming...NOW!" That was all it took for Dianne to realise her daughter was being genuine.

"I'm on my way,"

The 10 minute journey to the hospital was completely agonising for Christine, she couldn't believe it. She was 7 weeks too early. "This can't be happening," she kept repeating to herself as her mother drove and her sister tried to provide comfort. She just couldn't relax, the pain was unbearable and the worry was building up. Her baby could be in danger at Seven weeks premature.

To Christine the journey felt much longer than it actually was, her train of thoughts were interrupted by Dianne finally parking the car and Debbie helping her on to her feet. The pain was so intense, Christine couldn't help but scream out. She was immediately taking to an examining room, praying to god this was a false alarm. She just couldn't deliver her baby now knowing how early it was. "You are already 4 centimetres dilated," the nurse exclaimed removing her gloves after giving Christine a thorough examination. "No it's far too early,"'Christine cried. The nurse tried to provide the best comfort to Christine as in her experience she has seen many woman in this situation "I promise your baby is in the best care,"'she soothed. Christine nodded and then cried in pain as she as hit by another sharp contraction. "I can't do this," she cried. Her mother held her hand "You can love," she said supportively. An hour passed and Christine had miraculously dilated fully and was being moved down to the delivering room. Dianne stayed by her side whilst Debbie stayed outside phoning the rest of the family to keep them up to date.

Christine tried preoccupy her self with the gas and air provided by the midwives. The pain was unbearable. She kept thinking 'I can't do this' but knew she would just have to for her and her baby's sake. "Okay Christine, I want you to push when you feel your next contraction!" The midwife instructed, from her position at the end of the bed. Following at the instruction at the next contraction. She pushed. "Thats it I can see your baby's head.." Christine felt her body relax a little, one more push and it would be over. She gathered all her strength, ignoring the voices and the words of encouragement around her, she just wanted this baby out of her. For both their sakes, she pushed as hard as she possible could until she felt her baby being pulled out of her. She couldn't even relax when her mother embraced her in a motherly hug, she was just desperate to see her baby.

"congratulations you have a beautiful baby boy!"' The midwife exclaimed wrapping the baby in a fluffy white blanket after the chord had been snipped. Christine smiled, a boy. A baby boy, she was a mummy. Her smile faded and her thoughts were interrupted by realisation. There was no shrill baby cry. "Why isn't he crying?" She panicked "What's wrong with my baby?" Her panic levels were raised through the roof by this point. The midwife looked at Christine just as a bunch nurses and Doctors entered the room. "Your baby just needs some help breathing, don't worry! This is expected considering how early your baby was born!" This was supposed to provide Christine with some comfort but it didn't, she wanted to see her baby. Know that he was safe. She couldn't ever imagine losing him before even getting to know him. All Christine could do now was helplessly watch as he newborn son was wheeled out of the room in an incubator to the special baby unit as she was stitched up.

Two days later came the first time Christine could see her baby properly, she entered the special baby unit, wrapping her dressing gown protectively around her body as she was led over to an incubator at the back of the room by a nurse. There lay here tiny son connected to go knows what. He was so small, it broke her heart. "How is he Doing?" Christine spoke, her voice nothing more than a whisper. The nurse gave Christine a small smile, "He's a fighter, that's for sure,". Christine smiled back looking down in to the incubator, her baby was lay in a little blue hat and a tiny nappy that was still quite big for him. "We managed to weigh him last night, your baby weighs 3lb 6oz,". Christine nodded, not taking her eyes away.

One week passed since Christine had brought her baby in to the world, 7 days and she barely left the side of his incubator. The nurses were great and very supportive, the main nurse Claire was always coming in to chat to Christine, keeping her aware she wasn't alone. Christine entered the room after freshening up taking her regular spot next to her baby. She smiled at Claire "How is he this morning?" Claire smiled "He's had a very good night, how would you like to hold his hand?" Christine's eyes jotted up, she had been waiting for this day since her sons birth. She didn't get that first skin to skin contact that most mothers long for seconds after giving birth "can I?" Her voice was nothing mother than a choked sentence she had waited so long for this. Claire nodded and opened the little window on the incubator and gave Christine the nod. Nerves over took her body, she didn't want to hurt her baby, she wasn't used to this. But this was her little boy, he was so dependant. She carefully took hold of his small hand and smiled at how warm his skin was, she expected it to be cooler. "Have you thought of a name for him?"'Claire smiled making conversation. Christine nodded gently, looking down at her child "I'm going to name him Connor,". Claire smiled "Thats lovely, well Connor aren't you a lucky boy!" Christine smiled, and Claire left giving her some privacy. Christine sat back down keep her hand carefully entwined in her new baby sons. "I'm your mummy," she smiled "I'm going to take care of you, when you're all better I will take you home and look after you," she stroked his little arm. She knew this journey was going to be incredibly hard and it would be a while until her son would be allowed home but she would be there for him. Because no matter how short the time they've spent together since he was born, she already loves him so much. She's loved him even before he was here. She does now and always will be. He's her baby, not Joe's nor his fathers. Her baby and hers only.

"I love you so much darling," she whispered.


End file.
